My myspace profile still exists... LoL so I went on to just for some nostalgia
I wrote this in 2007:
1. I'm obssessed with using smiley faces at random
2. I'm emotionally charged... my emotions kinda control me.
3. I feel helpless in that.
4. I really like rainy days... even though I get ucky all over my pants and feet
5. I write when I'm full of emotion
6. It seems every time I pull it together I fall apart again
7. Apparently I can't give back a calling... I tried... it didn't work
8. I'm pretty sure I cry way too often to be normal.
9. I still text in class instead of paying attention
10. I want to dance under the stars... I just don't want to do it alone
11. It is impossible for me to walk away from an event not emotionally distraught.
12. I don't like sleeping alone, its not fun when I wake up in the middle of the night and no one is there.
13. I feel like some people say everything without saying anything at all, I wanna do that...
14. People are scary
15. I like them.
16. I'm not so sure I want to be an adult, its not fun.
17. I don't like flamingos
18. Honestly who decided that cleaning wasn't fun... I think they were a liar
19. I like people who look like they have stories
20. I miss working with little kids
21. I like old people...
22. One day I'm gonna be a cool super nice old lady, I'm gonna break the old lady sterotype.
23. I almost wish I could be an old man though, they are kinda fly.
24. I'm gonna make friends with a homeless dude.
25. I think my friends are in their kitchen singing to each other right now.
26. I'm fly.
27. But I could be very wrong.
28. People interacting with each other is hilarious... I decided that right now.
29. I like to drive while holding hands with someone it makes me feel safe...
30. I don't know how though cuz I'm pretty sure it isn't all that safe.
31. Verrado is scary at night.
LoL I was this girl 4 years ago.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Descion making 101
First so sorry my blogging game has been suffering lately due to my crazy life.
I'm back now.
Anyhow this week has been decision making 101. I've basically just been making all kinds of choices. I'm pretty proud of myself so far.
But first Lemme Catch you up on me.
This Summer I was a barista and a "customer specialist" aka cashier. So everyday I felt like I couldn't breath getting up at 4 am an hour that I hate napping going to work at 3 getting to bed at 11 and starting over. Then I was a guest Intern at the beautiful Lost Canyon not once but twice. Both times I felt like I could breath, because I slowed down again. So I was lost and then found and lost again. I impulsively went to El Paso. I was never at my apartment and I learned what it meant to be completely exhausted. I made myself distant so I could think, so I could decide. And now I'm relearning what it means to be obedient and walk away from self created chaos in my life so that I can be a servant. I'm listening to God and I'm forgiving myself. I have to stop creating chaos so that I can hid from situations. Its basically what I do. I know good and well that I had two jobs so that I wouldn't have time to think about other things, that were and still are messed up. Not because I needed two jobs because my God provides and God let me for a little while until he called to me and said stop, when I was so weak that I couldn't resist.
So I'm no longer a barista because it was stressful and even though I liked everyone in the StarBOX. I was told to walk away, in sermon given by a lovely British lady, she said "leave the Starbucks drive thru life" I can only assume that she said because God wanted to catch my attention. Choice #1
So I'm back and I suppose I'm facing my fears. I'm leading YL still. I almost didn't because of me, because of my wants but God isn't done with me yet so I'm back on board and I won't fight who I am and try to be who I think I'm supposed to be I'm just going to do me and Follow Jesus. Even if its twice as scary this time. Choice #2
School isn't lining up perfectly but I believe God will line it up for me. Choice #3
So I decided. :)
I'm back now.
Anyhow this week has been decision making 101. I've basically just been making all kinds of choices. I'm pretty proud of myself so far.
But first Lemme Catch you up on me.
This Summer I was a barista and a "customer specialist" aka cashier. So everyday I felt like I couldn't breath getting up at 4 am an hour that I hate napping going to work at 3 getting to bed at 11 and starting over. Then I was a guest Intern at the beautiful Lost Canyon not once but twice. Both times I felt like I could breath, because I slowed down again. So I was lost and then found and lost again. I impulsively went to El Paso. I was never at my apartment and I learned what it meant to be completely exhausted. I made myself distant so I could think, so I could decide. And now I'm relearning what it means to be obedient and walk away from self created chaos in my life so that I can be a servant. I'm listening to God and I'm forgiving myself. I have to stop creating chaos so that I can hid from situations. Its basically what I do. I know good and well that I had two jobs so that I wouldn't have time to think about other things, that were and still are messed up. Not because I needed two jobs because my God provides and God let me for a little while until he called to me and said stop, when I was so weak that I couldn't resist.
So I'm no longer a barista because it was stressful and even though I liked everyone in the StarBOX. I was told to walk away, in sermon given by a lovely British lady, she said "leave the Starbucks drive thru life" I can only assume that she said because God wanted to catch my attention. Choice #1
So I'm back and I suppose I'm facing my fears. I'm leading YL still. I almost didn't because of me, because of my wants but God isn't done with me yet so I'm back on board and I won't fight who I am and try to be who I think I'm supposed to be I'm just going to do me and Follow Jesus. Even if its twice as scary this time. Choice #2
School isn't lining up perfectly but I believe God will line it up for me. Choice #3
So I decided. :)
Monday, July 11, 2011
I shouldn't be here
Sometimes I look at my life and wonder how I ended up here, and I know the answer is the hand of God brought me to the place I'm in, but sometimes I fail to marvel at that fact. So I shall marvel here before you friends.
I shouldn't have been born. I wasn't in my mother's life plan she was going to be a nun and sisters of that kind do not have babies. Before she took her vows she wanted to see the world and study in the States (that's America, she's from Trinidad). God wanted me though so low and behold she fell for this guy and got married and she became with child (that's me).
When I was born I shouldn't have survived. I was a premature and I wasn't developing well in the womb to start with so I had some issues but God wanted me so I survived and made my baby body stronger.
I almost grew up in another country, when I was still a little baby my Mom sent me to live with her family in Trinidad, they were going to raise me while she decided it she was moving back... she left my biological father sometime shortly after I was born, I never met him. But God wanted me here in the states so he made her worry about me like crazy and miss me but he called her to stay in the States so I came back.
I shouldn't have had an amazing childhood with a huge and loving family around. It was almost just my mom and me no family because hers is still in Trinidad. But God wanted me to experience that, so my mom met my dad (who is technically my adopted dad but I didn't know until I was 17 but I'll get to that later) and my dad loved me like his own and his family love me as their own.
I still shouldn't have had that though because they got divorced when I was 5. They had every right to not treat me like there own any more. But God had his way and they kept me in fact they took me and raised me, never made me feel like I was anything but a Polite. I was theirs and I still am and they are mine because God gave us to each other.
I should not live in Arizona. It's hot and I'm allergic to the sun and I love water and there is none but God brought me here. The same year I left South Carolina to live with my dad, he got a job in Phoenix so I moved twice that year.
I should not have stayed in Arizona. It's hot and I'm allergic to the sun and I love water and there is none plus I had a dream to attend to. But we've already established that God brought me here. In high school I ran into and fell in Love with Jesus, and Young Life helped me get there. God said stay after I graduated though I had options, I obeyed his word and I stayed.
In my own plan I would not have made it through 3 stretching, growing and learning years on Young Life Student Staff being surrounded by some of the most amazing people. I would not have been forced to face my ethnic background because of Latino Student Staff and I would not have accepted it and embraced it. I wouldn't have met tons of kids who tried my patience but made me love them anyway. I would not have fallen in love with the ministry and I would not encountered God every step of the way.
I should have quit while I was ahead. But God had a plan and this last year has been tough but in everything I have learned so much about God and myself. I think I'm ready for the unknown. I think I'm ready to walk I wasn't at the end of last year, I wanted it but I wasn't ready. That was in God's plan too though it was God's hand that brought me here.
That's how I got here God planned it all along.
PS this is a prelude to my next blog post... stay tuned and while you wait listen to Ingrid
I shouldn't have been born. I wasn't in my mother's life plan she was going to be a nun and sisters of that kind do not have babies. Before she took her vows she wanted to see the world and study in the States (that's America, she's from Trinidad). God wanted me though so low and behold she fell for this guy and got married and she became with child (that's me).
When I was born I shouldn't have survived. I was a premature and I wasn't developing well in the womb to start with so I had some issues but God wanted me so I survived and made my baby body stronger.
I almost grew up in another country, when I was still a little baby my Mom sent me to live with her family in Trinidad, they were going to raise me while she decided it she was moving back... she left my biological father sometime shortly after I was born, I never met him. But God wanted me here in the states so he made her worry about me like crazy and miss me but he called her to stay in the States so I came back.
I shouldn't have had an amazing childhood with a huge and loving family around. It was almost just my mom and me no family because hers is still in Trinidad. But God wanted me to experience that, so my mom met my dad (who is technically my adopted dad but I didn't know until I was 17 but I'll get to that later) and my dad loved me like his own and his family love me as their own.
I still shouldn't have had that though because they got divorced when I was 5. They had every right to not treat me like there own any more. But God had his way and they kept me in fact they took me and raised me, never made me feel like I was anything but a Polite. I was theirs and I still am and they are mine because God gave us to each other.
I should not live in Arizona. It's hot and I'm allergic to the sun and I love water and there is none but God brought me here. The same year I left South Carolina to live with my dad, he got a job in Phoenix so I moved twice that year.
I should not have stayed in Arizona. It's hot and I'm allergic to the sun and I love water and there is none plus I had a dream to attend to. But we've already established that God brought me here. In high school I ran into and fell in Love with Jesus, and Young Life helped me get there. God said stay after I graduated though I had options, I obeyed his word and I stayed.
In my own plan I would not have made it through 3 stretching, growing and learning years on Young Life Student Staff being surrounded by some of the most amazing people. I would not have been forced to face my ethnic background because of Latino Student Staff and I would not have accepted it and embraced it. I wouldn't have met tons of kids who tried my patience but made me love them anyway. I would not have fallen in love with the ministry and I would not encountered God every step of the way.
I should have quit while I was ahead. But God had a plan and this last year has been tough but in everything I have learned so much about God and myself. I think I'm ready for the unknown. I think I'm ready to walk I wasn't at the end of last year, I wanted it but I wasn't ready. That was in God's plan too though it was God's hand that brought me here.
That's how I got here God planned it all along.
PS this is a prelude to my next blog post... stay tuned and while you wait listen to Ingrid
Thursday, April 28, 2011
The Call
I'm not who I was. I'm completely redeemed. I'm not the little girl that I used to be, I'm not the rebellious child that I once was. I've been sharpened and extended. I have one purpose in this place and I've know it for a long time. To Love. It's just as much of an action as it is a feeling.
Therefore.
My response is love. When it's not easy I will love. When I feel unloved I will love. When I am lost I will love.
And I will wait, because I'm am not my own and can not direct my own steps.
Therefore.
My response is love. When it's not easy I will love. When I feel unloved I will love. When I am lost I will love.
And I will wait, because I'm am not my own and can not direct my own steps.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Presta Atención Niña
I should be paying attention to my professor right now.
But right this moment all I can pay attention to is the realization that God has been speaking to me. I've been trying to decipher the words but it sounds like God is calling inside of a tunnel and my life is too noisy for me to hear his words clearly right now. Right now in this class is the longest I've sat down without an agenda in 5 days. Not the longest I've been still but lately every time I'm still I fall asleep because I'm tired not physically but mentally I'm really tired.
Thinking is tiring. Thinking while calculating the chaos around you is even more tiring. However, in the chaos that I've created to stop myself from thinking... God is still talking to me, calling me.
In subtle ways.
A week ago I went to my dad's house, and sitting on the kitchen counter plain as day was my purity ring. Please note that none of my things are anywhere in that house in plain sight also note that I took off in an small act of defiance during a hard time almost exactly a year ago. (side note: serveral months ago I decided to put it back on but I couldn't find it and then I searched for another one but nothing felt right on my finger. Was this a sign? I think yes.)
Last Friday a guy came through the drive through at work and he paid for the drink of the person behind him... the woman behind him almost cried right in front of me when I told her that he said "I want you to have a good day" and then paid for her drink and snack. Her reaction was beauty in my chaos, even more beautiful is that he'll probably never know how much it meant to her.
Last Saturday at my other job a guy came to my register and decided I looked like a girl who knew the bible and said to me, "when you get a chance read Jeremiah 33:3" so I did...
Today I was aimlessly browsing facebook statuses to pass the time and once again God called. God often asks me the same question and tends to use every form of communication possible to ask it, today there it was in a friend's status. "Why are you dying to fit in, when you were made to stand out?" I'm too different to be a background person. Not because I don't want to be because believe me if I could blend I would... I've tried it does not work at all. I'm just not supposed to blend into the background God tells me that all the time. I'm meant to stand up and let Christ's light shine through me.
In my chaos God is calling. These little moments lead me to believe that everything is going to be okae. Friends, I'm not a fighter typically I'm more of a walk away when it gets tough kind of girl but for the first time in my life I want to fight, I just want to push and push until I'm heard. I want to keep asking until someone answers me and I want to try until I can't try anymore. Right now I feel like a lot of things in life sit in a make it or break place for. If it's a break then let's God's will be done but I'm going to fight to make it. I'll know soon enough if I'm cut out for this forever and if not then its back to the drawing board, I'm lucky that I'm not the artist.
There's still beauty in chaos si prestes atención niñita (if you pay attention little girl)
But right this moment all I can pay attention to is the realization that God has been speaking to me. I've been trying to decipher the words but it sounds like God is calling inside of a tunnel and my life is too noisy for me to hear his words clearly right now. Right now in this class is the longest I've sat down without an agenda in 5 days. Not the longest I've been still but lately every time I'm still I fall asleep because I'm tired not physically but mentally I'm really tired.
Thinking is tiring. Thinking while calculating the chaos around you is even more tiring. However, in the chaos that I've created to stop myself from thinking... God is still talking to me, calling me.
In subtle ways.
A week ago I went to my dad's house, and sitting on the kitchen counter plain as day was my purity ring. Please note that none of my things are anywhere in that house in plain sight also note that I took off in an small act of defiance during a hard time almost exactly a year ago. (side note: serveral months ago I decided to put it back on but I couldn't find it and then I searched for another one but nothing felt right on my finger. Was this a sign? I think yes.)
Last Friday a guy came through the drive through at work and he paid for the drink of the person behind him... the woman behind him almost cried right in front of me when I told her that he said "I want you to have a good day" and then paid for her drink and snack. Her reaction was beauty in my chaos, even more beautiful is that he'll probably never know how much it meant to her.
Last Saturday at my other job a guy came to my register and decided I looked like a girl who knew the bible and said to me, "when you get a chance read Jeremiah 33:3" so I did...
Jeremiah 33:3 - Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
Today I was aimlessly browsing facebook statuses to pass the time and once again God called. God often asks me the same question and tends to use every form of communication possible to ask it, today there it was in a friend's status. "Why are you dying to fit in, when you were made to stand out?" I'm too different to be a background person. Not because I don't want to be because believe me if I could blend I would... I've tried it does not work at all. I'm just not supposed to blend into the background God tells me that all the time. I'm meant to stand up and let Christ's light shine through me.
In my chaos God is calling. These little moments lead me to believe that everything is going to be okae. Friends, I'm not a fighter typically I'm more of a walk away when it gets tough kind of girl but for the first time in my life I want to fight, I just want to push and push until I'm heard. I want to keep asking until someone answers me and I want to try until I can't try anymore. Right now I feel like a lot of things in life sit in a make it or break place for. If it's a break then let's God's will be done but I'm going to fight to make it. I'll know soon enough if I'm cut out for this forever and if not then its back to the drawing board, I'm lucky that I'm not the artist.
There's still beauty in chaos si prestes atención niñita (if you pay attention little girl)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Remember when I said
That I was going to graduate in December of this year
Well we're back to May of next year. If you're keeping track of my life on a score card, current tally Christina 0 Indecision 5.2 million. I'm really indecisive about most things. So I went to see my academic advisor today I needed someone to help me figure out what to do and well even though there are a zillion students at ASU, and I have my beef with that; I must say that my academic advisor is fabulous. I've actually managed to have the same advisor for 4 years, which is near impossible at a school as large as mine. So whenever I go in he know what's up and is ready to help based not only on his knowledge of ASU related things but of me too.
I went in to discuss the dropping of my minor. Not what happened.
I walked away with my minor in tact and I picked up a certificate. To make the extra year worth education, my problem was I didn't want to pay to be half time two semesters in a row, but if I could be full time without wasting time taking fillers that's AWESOME! Plus the fillers that I thought I was wasting my time taking before actually apply to the certificate I picked up and that's even more awesome!
So all in all awesome! I'm officially committed to being a college graduate in the Class of 2012.
Well we're back to May of next year. If you're keeping track of my life on a score card, current tally Christina 0 Indecision 5.2 million. I'm really indecisive about most things. So I went to see my academic advisor today I needed someone to help me figure out what to do and well even though there are a zillion students at ASU, and I have my beef with that; I must say that my academic advisor is fabulous. I've actually managed to have the same advisor for 4 years, which is near impossible at a school as large as mine. So whenever I go in he know what's up and is ready to help based not only on his knowledge of ASU related things but of me too.
I went in to discuss the dropping of my minor. Not what happened.
I walked away with my minor in tact and I picked up a certificate. To make the extra year worth education, my problem was I didn't want to pay to be half time two semesters in a row, but if I could be full time without wasting time taking fillers that's AWESOME! Plus the fillers that I thought I was wasting my time taking before actually apply to the certificate I picked up and that's even more awesome!
So all in all awesome! I'm officially committed to being a college graduate in the Class of 2012.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Is God Sending Me Messages via Jon Acuff
I'm human so I think the world revolves around me. It doesn't but I think it does so when I read a blog post or listen to a sermon by anyone that completely reflects my head space I automatically think the author of what I just heard or read is stalking me.
My favorite blogger, Jon Acuff, is stalking me.
You can read his post here also feel free to read his blog regularly. Excuse me while I go get on his promotions team because I'm always telling someone to read his blog or books.
In the event that you didn't follow the link allow me to display the part of his post that I want to talk about.
The above excerpt from the bible and Jon Acuff commentary shall serve as proof that I no longer have to drag my feet.
God will decide what I'm going to do for the rest of forever. I don't have to he's already done it. There will not be fireworks and Vegas lights around my path, but I'll find it. I just have be obedient to God's unfolding will for my life.
My favorite blogger, Jon Acuff, is stalking me.
You can read his post here also feel free to read his blog regularly. Excuse me while I go get on his promotions team because I'm always telling someone to read his blog or books.
In the event that you didn't follow the link allow me to display the part of his post that I want to talk about.
Exodus 6:6-8
"I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the Lord your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession. I am the Lord.”
Look at what he says:
I will bring you out, I will free you, I will redeem you, I will take you as my own people, I will be your God, I will bring you to the land I swore, I will give it to you.
Seven times, in three verses, God reminds the Israelites and us that he never calls us on adventures alone.
The above excerpt from the bible and Jon Acuff commentary shall serve as proof that I no longer have to drag my feet.
God will decide what I'm going to do for the rest of forever. I don't have to he's already done it. There will not be fireworks and Vegas lights around my path, but I'll find it. I just have be obedient to God's unfolding will for my life.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Put It Into Serious Consideration
So we all know I'm dragging my feet in life. I'm Miss "I was on track to graduate but I declared a minor because I got scared and didn't know what to do after I left Young Life staff and I let some people make me feel impractical for being a Spanish major so I declared an equally as impractical minor so I would have time to think" LoL. Dang I have a long name.
I'm on a slow hike I'm just taking my time, stretching, sitting down for breaks, looking at all the flowers and smelling each individual one. I don't feel prepared for the next step in my life so I've been making sure to take as long as possible so I have taking extra time so I can over analyze every last option. However the following has recently occurred to me...
God is bigger than me.
I don't know how many times God has proved said(I now think of my friend Lizz every time I use that word, that way) fact to me but seriously how many times has God shown up in my life and told me "Christina, stop trying so hard I'm bigger than you and I can do it, let me do it." Its been pretty often my friends, honestly I can't count them but just think about how many times our God has told you that same thing and then feel free to multiply it by some astronomical number that's how often God has reminded me that he is a big guy.
I'm putting some things into serious consideration.
1. Graduating in December. Every reason I have given myself to rationalize graduating next spring just seems sillier and sillier everyday the only real reason is that two of my classes aren't supposed to be taken at the same time, but I'm sure I can get an override if I needed it.
2. Grad School
I do want a masters degree and what better time than the present. I could use my time and energy towards a more practical degree.
3. Seminary
If I'm really honest with myself this is actually what I want to do. Ministry has my heart. The only thing in life I like as much as sharing the Gospel is small children. Perhaps I shall go to seminary and then share the Gospel with small children.
4. Interning
This idea may have been planted in my head. Through conversations with some people whose opinions I value. However I did always say that I would intern with some organization internationally when I graduated. I'm a Spanish major for crying out loud. Also I've been thinking about Interning for Young Life, property and field just in case you were wondering. There are things I love about both and I wouldn't be opposed to either. And again if I'm being honest with myself this is what I want to do too. I could go Seminary while interning nothing to stop me there, I'm sure some killer AD would take me under their wing and not only allow but encourage me to attend seminary. Just saying.
I don't really know what I'm doing but I'm done dragging my feet time to just run with Jesus and let him decide where I'm going God is big look where he found me and where I am now. Look at people he has made us all to be. Why be afraid of what he has planned for us? Our God is good, and he gives to those who love him and well
I LOVE ME SOME GOD
I'm on a slow hike I'm just taking my time, stretching, sitting down for breaks, looking at all the flowers and smelling each individual one. I don't feel prepared for the next step in my life so I've been making sure to take as long as possible so I have taking extra time so I can over analyze every last option. However the following has recently occurred to me...
I don't know how many times God has proved said(I now think of my friend Lizz every time I use that word, that way) fact to me but seriously how many times has God shown up in my life and told me "Christina, stop trying so hard I'm bigger than you and I can do it, let me do it." Its been pretty often my friends, honestly I can't count them but just think about how many times our God has told you that same thing and then feel free to multiply it by some astronomical number that's how often God has reminded me that he is a big guy.
I'm putting some things into serious consideration.
1. Graduating in December. Every reason I have given myself to rationalize graduating next spring just seems sillier and sillier everyday the only real reason is that two of my classes aren't supposed to be taken at the same time, but I'm sure I can get an override if I needed it.
2. Grad School
I do want a masters degree and what better time than the present. I could use my time and energy towards a more practical degree.
3. Seminary
If I'm really honest with myself this is actually what I want to do. Ministry has my heart. The only thing in life I like as much as sharing the Gospel is small children. Perhaps I shall go to seminary and then share the Gospel with small children.
4. Interning
This idea may have been planted in my head. Through conversations with some people whose opinions I value. However I did always say that I would intern with some organization internationally when I graduated. I'm a Spanish major for crying out loud. Also I've been thinking about Interning for Young Life, property and field just in case you were wondering. There are things I love about both and I wouldn't be opposed to either. And again if I'm being honest with myself this is what I want to do too. I could go Seminary while interning nothing to stop me there, I'm sure some killer AD would take me under their wing and not only allow but encourage me to attend seminary. Just saying.
I don't really know what I'm doing but I'm done dragging my feet time to just run with Jesus and let him decide where I'm going God is big look where he found me and where I am now. Look at people he has made us all to be. Why be afraid of what he has planned for us? Our God is good, and he gives to those who love him and well
Monday, February 7, 2011
I have these friends...
I love my friends. All of them, I'm seriously a blessed child because when I think about it. I've had the privilege of being a part of the lives of so many really awesome people. Thank you, God(I'm working on remembering to utter that phrase), for giving me the greatest friends ever. Some of my friends remind me of how lucky I am every time I talk to them. Two of them in particular shall be mentioned here.
The first friend I'll mention knows me, we're the same person and its kind of weird in a way because sometimes we say the same things and have the same ideas. I'm convinced that we're friends because we talk about Jesus and real things but we have fun, make jokes then we come up with ridiculous ideas and theories too. I'm also convinced we're going to be friends forever. What a blessing.
The second friend I'll mention is dope but we weren't always tight. Back in the day we were frequently accused of being fake friends by our other friends. However God had other plans for our friendship and now a days people notice how much we love each other. One of my favorite things about our friendship is that said friend is protective. Sometimes I can sense my friend's annoyance when we talk about anyone who isn't treating me right. Not many people I know are openly protective of me so it's cool. A huge blessing.
I mentioned in another post that I've been wrestling with God and I feel like I have to fight for a lot of things right now. One of which is my ministry. I was lucky enough to get to talk to both of my aforementioned (college word from the lit major) friends today. In our conversations today they reminded me of why I have to fight.
I love what I do. Simple I don't know why I didn't see it on my own. I figured God was up for a wrestle with me, since I typically let things go. But I really really love what I do. I love God and my life as a Christian. I love the Gospel. I love teens and I believe that they have the right to hear the Gospel. Not only do I love ministry but I'm kinda good at it. I forget that I'm good at it. I'm not the best not even close I have a million and 7 things to learn. But I'm good and I have been chosen and because my friends are awesome they affirmed it without even know that they did. Thanks friends for being amazing. Thank you God, for giving me such amazing friends. :)
(Does God get emoticons{fancy for smileys}?)
The first friend I'll mention knows me, we're the same person and its kind of weird in a way because sometimes we say the same things and have the same ideas. I'm convinced that we're friends because we talk about Jesus and real things but we have fun, make jokes then we come up with ridiculous ideas and theories too. I'm also convinced we're going to be friends forever. What a blessing.
The second friend I'll mention is dope but we weren't always tight. Back in the day we were frequently accused of being fake friends by our other friends. However God had other plans for our friendship and now a days people notice how much we love each other. One of my favorite things about our friendship is that said friend is protective. Sometimes I can sense my friend's annoyance when we talk about anyone who isn't treating me right. Not many people I know are openly protective of me so it's cool. A huge blessing.
I mentioned in another post that I've been wrestling with God and I feel like I have to fight for a lot of things right now. One of which is my ministry. I was lucky enough to get to talk to both of my aforementioned (college word from the lit major) friends today. In our conversations today they reminded me of why I have to fight.
I love what I do. Simple I don't know why I didn't see it on my own. I figured God was up for a wrestle with me, since I typically let things go. But I really really love what I do. I love God and my life as a Christian. I love the Gospel. I love teens and I believe that they have the right to hear the Gospel. Not only do I love ministry but I'm kinda good at it. I forget that I'm good at it. I'm not the best not even close I have a million and 7 things to learn. But I'm good and I have been chosen and because my friends are awesome they affirmed it without even know that they did. Thanks friends for being amazing. Thank you God, for giving me such amazing friends. :)
(Does God get emoticons{fancy for smileys}?)
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wrestle with God
Boys will be boys and occasionally I don't get them. Example wrestling. First, I would not like to be put in a hold by a sweaty person and furthermore I would not like to put another person in any kind of hold and keep them there until they couldn't breath. Boys they're down for that though. Odd. But I have learned that wrestling is biblical, so way to go fellas at least it's in the bible... even if I think you're odd and a little gross.
In Genesis chapter 32 Jacob wrestles with God. That I understand I know the feeling of being in a stand off of sorts with God moves and I submit. But haven't we all try to win. God finds Jacob out in the desert by himself the form of a man (I believe that would be pre-incarnate God as a man, say what??? That's the first thing notice here because the whole bible is foreshadowing Jesus) God grabs Jacob and wrestles with him all night. Can you imagine that? I see it, Jacob was all red faced and snotty nosed struggling to make a move but still holding on and God is cool his hair is a little ruffled but he's ready to move on and he lets go touches Jacobs hip and Jacob is wrenched in pain so God probably goes to get up and Jacob wraps all of his body around God. Arms, legs, head, all of him right around God's leg, you know the way you did when you were a kid and didn't want someone to leave the room. So God says let go and Jacob says not until you bless me. Now here is Jacob probably getting all kinds of knocked around by God but he doesn't let go. Snotty nosed, red faced, and in gut wrenching pain because of his hip but Jacob doesn't let go. Now in my head here I see God looking down at ol' Jakey boy and seeing how bold he was God smiling because his heart is warmed by Jacobs boldness and faith. Jacob believes with all of his heart that God's blessing is all he needs for a better life and of his boldness and faith God rewards him.
What if we were more bold in our dealings with God. How much more would God reward us? Yeah God will the wrestling match but what but what if we kept holding on when we got knocked around? What if we kept going back for more? What if we too said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." I'm going to be that bold in my life with God. I think God rewards that kind persistence I feel like it shows faith. I'll admit that when I get knocked around I walk away, When I get a little scared I walk away. No matter how much I want, love, or want to love something I admittedly will walk away without a fight. If it's too hard then I don't want to do it, if it even slightly ruffles my feathers or steps outside of my box that I live in, I try to hide, God always finds me and pulls me out of the corners I hide in but I do walk away and hide when I get discouraged. Lately I feel like God wants me to fight. With him, with people, with ministry, with friends, with money, with everything, I feel like God wants me to fight. I'm a lover not a fighter but what the Lord wills shall be done. But I think I'm learning that sometimes you have to fight for what you love. So I'm fighting and I'm not letting go until God blesses me, even if I have to pray the same prayer 14 million times and ask the same questions 6 billion times, I'm wrestling with God.
Wrestle with God. There are a million bible verses about asking God and God giving to those who love him, so if you love him and trust him why wouldn't he give good things to you. You just have to be persistent. Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." That word petition, is actually translated as supplication and the root of that word in Greek can mean to beg.(I google stuff now but can't wait to be grown up and go to seminary and study Greek) There you have it Paul says beg God, and I'm almost positive that while Jacob demanded his bless he did it with a tone of begging in his voice. Don't you see him? Eye's closed, body wrapped around God's leg, saying through clenched teeth, "no, not until you bless me," while thinking in his head, "bless me God, please bless me, God I just need you to bless me." Haven't we all said that? Friends believe that God will come through, in Genesis, God is called Jehovah Jireh, it means God will provide, and well God will provide. Think about all the things that the Lord has provided for you already and bow before the Lord in praise and then ask God boldly for what you want. He'll answer.
Summary... because I feel like I was all over.
Wrestle with God, hold on until you get your blessing.
Pray with persistence.
Thank God for what he has already provided.
Believe God will provide again.
Repeat as often as necessary.
Listen to Sufjan.
(irrelevant side note: I love this song sang by anyone but I really love Sufjan's version and if I ever convince someone to marry me this song may play at our wedding... just saying)
In Genesis chapter 32 Jacob wrestles with God. That I understand I know the feeling of being in a stand off of sorts with God moves and I submit. But haven't we all try to win. God finds Jacob out in the desert by himself the form of a man (I believe that would be pre-incarnate God as a man, say what??? That's the first thing notice here because the whole bible is foreshadowing Jesus) God grabs Jacob and wrestles with him all night. Can you imagine that? I see it, Jacob was all red faced and snotty nosed struggling to make a move but still holding on and God is cool his hair is a little ruffled but he's ready to move on and he lets go touches Jacobs hip and Jacob is wrenched in pain so God probably goes to get up and Jacob wraps all of his body around God. Arms, legs, head, all of him right around God's leg, you know the way you did when you were a kid and didn't want someone to leave the room. So God says let go and Jacob says not until you bless me. Now here is Jacob probably getting all kinds of knocked around by God but he doesn't let go. Snotty nosed, red faced, and in gut wrenching pain because of his hip but Jacob doesn't let go. Now in my head here I see God looking down at ol' Jakey boy and seeing how bold he was God smiling because his heart is warmed by Jacobs boldness and faith. Jacob believes with all of his heart that God's blessing is all he needs for a better life and of his boldness and faith God rewards him.
What if we were more bold in our dealings with God. How much more would God reward us? Yeah God will the wrestling match but what but what if we kept holding on when we got knocked around? What if we kept going back for more? What if we too said, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." I'm going to be that bold in my life with God. I think God rewards that kind persistence I feel like it shows faith. I'll admit that when I get knocked around I walk away, When I get a little scared I walk away. No matter how much I want, love, or want to love something I admittedly will walk away without a fight. If it's too hard then I don't want to do it, if it even slightly ruffles my feathers or steps outside of my box that I live in, I try to hide, God always finds me and pulls me out of the corners I hide in but I do walk away and hide when I get discouraged. Lately I feel like God wants me to fight. With him, with people, with ministry, with friends, with money, with everything, I feel like God wants me to fight. I'm a lover not a fighter but what the Lord wills shall be done. But I think I'm learning that sometimes you have to fight for what you love. So I'm fighting and I'm not letting go until God blesses me, even if I have to pray the same prayer 14 million times and ask the same questions 6 billion times, I'm wrestling with God.
Wrestle with God. There are a million bible verses about asking God and God giving to those who love him, so if you love him and trust him why wouldn't he give good things to you. You just have to be persistent. Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." That word petition, is actually translated as supplication and the root of that word in Greek can mean to beg.(I google stuff now but can't wait to be grown up and go to seminary and study Greek) There you have it Paul says beg God, and I'm almost positive that while Jacob demanded his bless he did it with a tone of begging in his voice. Don't you see him? Eye's closed, body wrapped around God's leg, saying through clenched teeth, "no, not until you bless me," while thinking in his head, "bless me God, please bless me, God I just need you to bless me." Haven't we all said that? Friends believe that God will come through, in Genesis, God is called Jehovah Jireh, it means God will provide, and well God will provide. Think about all the things that the Lord has provided for you already and bow before the Lord in praise and then ask God boldly for what you want. He'll answer.
Summary... because I feel like I was all over.
Wrestle with God, hold on until you get your blessing.
Pray with persistence.
Thank God for what he has already provided.
Believe God will provide again.
Repeat as often as necessary.
Listen to Sufjan.
(irrelevant side note: I love this song sang by anyone but I really love Sufjan's version and if I ever convince someone to marry me this song may play at our wedding... just saying)
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Could this class be any longer...
I don't feel awesome right now and this class is dragging... profesor, con tu pelo y barba canosos, no entiendo lo que dice.
So I've discovered the following, in my 3.5 years of college... if you go to class you get a better grade based on 2 thing: you absorb a substantial amount information even if you only listen to every other word your professor says and they think you're trying if you show up to class so they like you. Even though I'm here my professor lost me 25 minutes ago because I have no idea what he is talking about... indians and corn... that's all I got. I'm a visual learner so listening to you chat in this cold room isn't helping me at all... why is it that all my Spanish professors lately are the lecture with out pictures types? If my be on Young Life staff plan for my life fails I'm pursuing Education and I'm I will not sit in a chair and lecture. EXTREME TEACHING (Phillip Nowlin, Desert Edge, circa 04-05) I'm gonna jump on a desk. Mr. Nowlin jumped on my desk one time and ya know what, I will always remember the bourgeoisie and the proletariat for the rest of my life, cuz he jumped on my desk and yelled Christina Poliate (he pronounced my name wrong for a year I never corrected him). Extreme. He also let our class watch Pocahontas one time and that was great.
Other things I've discovered in college:
1. Some how being on facebook can fill a class period but I don't know why I get on facebook... no one ever says anything to me and I'm not clever so people don't read my statuses most of the time... no one comments. And I've theorized that I'm forgettable on facebook, maybe in life but definitely on facebook, but some how it steals away hours of my time... confusing.
2. ASU is odd.
3. Going to college helped me figure out a grand total of nothing about life. I thought it was supposed to help.
Some how this turned into negative Nancy time... changing the pace.
4. I love Thursday... like every other ASU student because no one goes to class on Friday here... they love it for another reason but I love it because historically Thursday is amazing. It started way back in the day when I used to have Wyld Life on Thursday night. Hanging out with my team and loving on our kids it couldn't get any better. I miss those days.
5. I still love Thursday.
6. Parrots now we're talking about parrots... I wonder if I'm the only that is lost. nope there's a girl playing solitaire, she's lost too.
7. Always have 7 points... I'm kind of out of things to say and class is almost over this post doesn't say a lot at all. Oh this week 3 different people have called me smart and I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I'm not dumb and I do know things, but smart? I don't know... plus 2 of the people called me smarter than other people... yeah... I don't know about that.
Ah this class is finally over.
So I've discovered the following, in my 3.5 years of college... if you go to class you get a better grade based on 2 thing: you absorb a substantial amount information even if you only listen to every other word your professor says and they think you're trying if you show up to class so they like you. Even though I'm here my professor lost me 25 minutes ago because I have no idea what he is talking about... indians and corn... that's all I got. I'm a visual learner so listening to you chat in this cold room isn't helping me at all... why is it that all my Spanish professors lately are the lecture with out pictures types? If my be on Young Life staff plan for my life fails I'm pursuing Education and I'm I will not sit in a chair and lecture. EXTREME TEACHING (Phillip Nowlin, Desert Edge, circa 04-05) I'm gonna jump on a desk. Mr. Nowlin jumped on my desk one time and ya know what, I will always remember the bourgeoisie and the proletariat for the rest of my life, cuz he jumped on my desk and yelled Christina Poliate (he pronounced my name wrong for a year I never corrected him). Extreme. He also let our class watch Pocahontas one time and that was great.
Other things I've discovered in college:
1. Some how being on facebook can fill a class period but I don't know why I get on facebook... no one ever says anything to me and I'm not clever so people don't read my statuses most of the time... no one comments. And I've theorized that I'm forgettable on facebook, maybe in life but definitely on facebook, but some how it steals away hours of my time... confusing.
2. ASU is odd.
3. Going to college helped me figure out a grand total of nothing about life. I thought it was supposed to help.
Some how this turned into negative Nancy time... changing the pace.
4. I love Thursday... like every other ASU student because no one goes to class on Friday here... they love it for another reason but I love it because historically Thursday is amazing. It started way back in the day when I used to have Wyld Life on Thursday night. Hanging out with my team and loving on our kids it couldn't get any better. I miss those days.
5. I still love Thursday.
6. Parrots now we're talking about parrots... I wonder if I'm the only that is lost. nope there's a girl playing solitaire, she's lost too.
7. Always have 7 points... I'm kind of out of things to say and class is almost over this post doesn't say a lot at all. Oh this week 3 different people have called me smart and I don't know how I feel about it. I mean, I'm not dumb and I do know things, but smart? I don't know... plus 2 of the people called me smarter than other people... yeah... I don't know about that.
Ah this class is finally over.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Love me!
Before I go any farther know that I stole this idea from Jon Acuff. I thought his post was funny on Stuff Christians Like, one of my favorite blogs. So because I thought it was so funny that he added his own love languages to "The 5 Love Languages" I think I'll make my own post and do the same.
First you should know that my love language is physical touch, I like to be touched, I feel like people don't like me if the won't let me touch them and/or they won't touch me. I get sad when people don't want to hug me or won't let me stand or sit close to them sometimes. I respect that some people don't like hugs or sharing their space but it still makes me sad. So if you're wondering what to do to show me that you love me then hug me good, like there's no tomorrow.
Five other things that really make me feel loved:
1. Make me laugh. I seriously admire funny people probably because I'm only mildly funny on occasion. Some of my favorite people are the ones that make me laugh until I can't breathe and my face hurts and I make that awful gasping noise that I make when I'm trying to get out of a laughing fit. I love joking around and having fun with people. I love inside jokes that only we get, that's it love me by having inside jokes with me.
2. Tell me something real. I like fun as much as the next girl but sometimes I just like to be real. Occasionally, I just want to talk about honest things. Life isn't all fun and games and well I wanna talk about the real stuff too. So talk to me and let me talk to you too.
3. Stalk me, self explanatory.
3. (the real one) I was kidding about the last one, I was trying to be funny. A serious number 3 is hang out with me. I don't care what we do. I just don't want to be alone all the time. I want to hang out with people it's fun. Call me and say hey what are you doing? Even if we do nothing together, doing nothing with someone is better that doing nothing by myself all the time. Which is what I do most days.
4. Coloring. I color by myself sometimes but I like to color with people and if someone where to indulge that little bit of enjoyment in life I would really like it.
5. Lastly adventure with me. You know how sometimes you want to go do or see something that you haven't done or seen before but you don't want to go alone you want to share it with someone? Yes, that is what I'm talking about, I want to adventure with someone. I like to make memories that I can have forever and when I share experiences with people I never forget it. Like when I found out the old town Glendale existed, I desperately wanted to go look in all of the little antique shops. It took some convincing but I finally got someone to go with me and now every time I drive down there I remember that day. I love moments that become memories.
So friends if you want to love on me you can: hug me, talk to me, hang out with me, color with me or go on an adventure with me, those are my additions to the 5 love languages.
Feel free to copy Jon Acuff and make your own list.
First you should know that my love language is physical touch, I like to be touched, I feel like people don't like me if the won't let me touch them and/or they won't touch me. I get sad when people don't want to hug me or won't let me stand or sit close to them sometimes. I respect that some people don't like hugs or sharing their space but it still makes me sad. So if you're wondering what to do to show me that you love me then hug me good, like there's no tomorrow.
Five other things that really make me feel loved:
1. Make me laugh. I seriously admire funny people probably because I'm only mildly funny on occasion. Some of my favorite people are the ones that make me laugh until I can't breathe and my face hurts and I make that awful gasping noise that I make when I'm trying to get out of a laughing fit. I love joking around and having fun with people. I love inside jokes that only we get, that's it love me by having inside jokes with me.
2. Tell me something real. I like fun as much as the next girl but sometimes I just like to be real. Occasionally, I just want to talk about honest things. Life isn't all fun and games and well I wanna talk about the real stuff too. So talk to me and let me talk to you too.
3. Stalk me, self explanatory.
3. (the real one) I was kidding about the last one, I was trying to be funny. A serious number 3 is hang out with me. I don't care what we do. I just don't want to be alone all the time. I want to hang out with people it's fun. Call me and say hey what are you doing? Even if we do nothing together, doing nothing with someone is better that doing nothing by myself all the time. Which is what I do most days.
4. Coloring. I color by myself sometimes but I like to color with people and if someone where to indulge that little bit of enjoyment in life I would really like it.
5. Lastly adventure with me. You know how sometimes you want to go do or see something that you haven't done or seen before but you don't want to go alone you want to share it with someone? Yes, that is what I'm talking about, I want to adventure with someone. I like to make memories that I can have forever and when I share experiences with people I never forget it. Like when I found out the old town Glendale existed, I desperately wanted to go look in all of the little antique shops. It took some convincing but I finally got someone to go with me and now every time I drive down there I remember that day. I love moments that become memories.
So friends if you want to love on me you can: hug me, talk to me, hang out with me, color with me or go on an adventure with me, those are my additions to the 5 love languages.
Feel free to copy Jon Acuff and make your own list.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
So I'm a little obsessed.
You know how the Old Testament is a part of the bible but it often gets neglected like it's there but people skip past it to get Psalms that kinda thing. You know which books I mean too Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy (yes they're in the correct order) the ones that have long lists... half of Genesis is names that I can't pronounce, so when I read them I spend far more time thinking about proper pronunciation than the lineage that's being laid out before me. What I mean to say is that I rarely hear someone tell me that they were reading Genesis the other day and they were amazed because people aren't just reading Genesis anymore but I'm here to announce that we need to bring it back. Kick it old school. Technically that would be kicking it Old Testament. (If you can tell me what movie I just quoted WITHOUT googling it I'll bake you cupcakes)
**Sidenote** I honestly wish that my life was filled with more moments like this: someone would say to me, "you know what I read in the bible today?" and then they would proceed to tell me about the amazing thing they learned in scripture. **End Sidenote**
But I've been reading Genesis lately and... I'm a little obsessed. I can't get enough of it. At some point in my life I've heard all of these stories but it's like I've never HEARD any of these stories, they're wild. For example: In chapter 17 God changes Abram's name to Abraham. That's it he just changes it right there in verse 5. God is all "no longer will you be called Abram, your name will be Abraham" and shazam God gives him a new identity as the father of a nation. Just like that he's no longer who he was and gave him a new "calling." Whatever Abram had planned for his life didn't even exist anymore, his goals, aspirations, desires, all gone because Abram didn't exist anymore. Wild.
Wouldn't it be great if all of us of could just have new names when one part of our lives was over? When we're done living in the mistakes we made when we were 17, when that one incident our freshman year of college no longer commands how we feel about ourselves, or when we're done believing the lies and letting cynicism control the way we interact with the world? What if when God came in and freed us from all the junk we got a new name? 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "If any man is in Christ he is a new creation the old has gone the new has come." But man wouldn't it be so much easier to believe that we are new creations in Christ, when we accept him if we got new names when we did it? It would be like the FBI witness protection program but better it'd be the God protection program.
Think about life. You are free! Go Ahead figuratively or actually(because that's really bold and I'll support you) declare a new name for yourself God already has.
more to come Genesis is too good to not blog about.
**Sidenote** I honestly wish that my life was filled with more moments like this: someone would say to me, "you know what I read in the bible today?" and then they would proceed to tell me about the amazing thing they learned in scripture. **End Sidenote**
But I've been reading Genesis lately and... I'm a little obsessed. I can't get enough of it. At some point in my life I've heard all of these stories but it's like I've never HEARD any of these stories, they're wild. For example: In chapter 17 God changes Abram's name to Abraham. That's it he just changes it right there in verse 5. God is all "no longer will you be called Abram, your name will be Abraham" and shazam God gives him a new identity as the father of a nation. Just like that he's no longer who he was and gave him a new "calling." Whatever Abram had planned for his life didn't even exist anymore, his goals, aspirations, desires, all gone because Abram didn't exist anymore. Wild.
Wouldn't it be great if all of us of could just have new names when one part of our lives was over? When we're done living in the mistakes we made when we were 17, when that one incident our freshman year of college no longer commands how we feel about ourselves, or when we're done believing the lies and letting cynicism control the way we interact with the world? What if when God came in and freed us from all the junk we got a new name? 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "If any man is in Christ he is a new creation the old has gone the new has come." But man wouldn't it be so much easier to believe that we are new creations in Christ, when we accept him if we got new names when we did it? It would be like the FBI witness protection program but better it'd be the God protection program.
Think about life. You are free! Go Ahead figuratively or actually(because that's really bold and I'll support you) declare a new name for yourself God already has.
more to come Genesis is too good to not blog about.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Metaphorical Umbrellas
Everyone knows that I love a good metaphor. Just in case you hadn't noticed I'd like to point out that I'm the girl that disguises talk major life opportunities as rain jackets in department stores when I write.
So this morning at Church the sermon was about being Empowered for Ministry.
**side note** I have this one theory that the pastor has been following me around and basing his sermons off of the things that are going on in my life. I've spent a considerable amount of time developing this theory... my second theory is that I'm just hearing God calling to me more lately because I'm not a stubborn child with her hand over her ears anymore(embracing my age)... probably the first though.**end side note**
There was a metaphor in the sermon and of course my ears perked up. The Holy Spirit is like water raining down on the people, but some people never feel the presence of the Spirit because they're standing under an umbrella.
HELLO!
Come out from under the umbrella and feel the Holy Spirit rain down. Be empowered by the Holy Spirit, love like Jesus because the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on you.
Isaiah 61:1-2
So this morning at Church the sermon was about being Empowered for Ministry.
**side note** I have this one theory that the pastor has been following me around and basing his sermons off of the things that are going on in my life. I've spent a considerable amount of time developing this theory... my second theory is that I'm just hearing God calling to me more lately because I'm not a stubborn child with her hand over her ears anymore(embracing my age)... probably the first though.**end side note**
There was a metaphor in the sermon and of course my ears perked up. The Holy Spirit is like water raining down on the people, but some people never feel the presence of the Spirit because they're standing under an umbrella.
HELLO!
Come out from under the umbrella and feel the Holy Spirit rain down. Be empowered by the Holy Spirit, love like Jesus because the Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on you.
Isaiah 61:1-2
Monday, January 10, 2011
First Post of 2011!!!
Ah I've been a blogger for a year. :) Exciting! 2010 was such an amazing year. I don't know how anything can top 2010 so I'm showing up to 2011 with no expectations.
Things I am committing myself to
1. BLOGGING! I'm so terrible at updating this thing but I'm going to do better. I promise friends I'm going to do better.
2. Taking pictures... I need to document my life better how am I ever going to remember all the things we say and do in these days. All the places I've gone? The things I've done how will I ever remember in 2 weeks much less 4 years? Plus I'm planning on living this next year up I'm almost out of college. Who knows what's next for me. I'm gonna live like I'm dying.
3. No not literally dying but dying none the less. I would say the most interesting thing I learned at the end of last year was that I need to die to myself to be more free. Free to live my life the way it was intended to be. So yeah I'm dying more and more every day.
4. I'm going to read more this year I love books I love being cozy and reading books. I love pages and pictures and words. I love words. I really do.
5. I'm reading the bible more, I just started a reading plan that will take me through the whole bible in by my next birthday. I've read it all but over time never straight though in a close time period so I'm on it and excited.
6. I talked to my Grandma a few days ago, I'm not saying what we talked about because I don't want to spoil it but just know that I'm super duper excited. The woman has some amazing intuition and when she says things it's real and sometimes things in my life don't seem real until I tell her. So just know I'm excited and I can barely contain myself... but I'm being patient.
7. Of course I make commitments in 7's it's my favorite number. I'm seizing every opportunity before me that I can and praising God for all of my blessings. Every day I'm praising God.
So bring it 2011 let's see what you're made of.
Things I am committing myself to
1. BLOGGING! I'm so terrible at updating this thing but I'm going to do better. I promise friends I'm going to do better.
2. Taking pictures... I need to document my life better how am I ever going to remember all the things we say and do in these days. All the places I've gone? The things I've done how will I ever remember in 2 weeks much less 4 years? Plus I'm planning on living this next year up I'm almost out of college. Who knows what's next for me. I'm gonna live like I'm dying.
3. No not literally dying but dying none the less. I would say the most interesting thing I learned at the end of last year was that I need to die to myself to be more free. Free to live my life the way it was intended to be. So yeah I'm dying more and more every day.
4. I'm going to read more this year I love books I love being cozy and reading books. I love pages and pictures and words. I love words. I really do.
5. I'm reading the bible more, I just started a reading plan that will take me through the whole bible in by my next birthday. I've read it all but over time never straight though in a close time period so I'm on it and excited.
6. I talked to my Grandma a few days ago, I'm not saying what we talked about because I don't want to spoil it but just know that I'm super duper excited. The woman has some amazing intuition and when she says things it's real and sometimes things in my life don't seem real until I tell her. So just know I'm excited and I can barely contain myself... but I'm being patient.
7. Of course I make commitments in 7's it's my favorite number. I'm seizing every opportunity before me that I can and praising God for all of my blessings. Every day I'm praising God.
So bring it 2011 let's see what you're made of.
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